All images courtesy of TATY Press Portal and t.A.T.u’s official Pinger.

Bad vocals and uninspired beats make up most of  Waste Management, the long awaited third English album from Russian faux-lesbian duo t.A.T.u .

When Lena Katina and Yulia Volkova burst into the electropop scene in 2002, they caused much controversy with their hit single “All The Things She Said”, showing both girls kissing in their music video.

Lena Katina (sporting red hair) came to Singapore during the MTV Asia Awards 2004. The feisty girl even told the cheering crowd “Silence, please!” when she was giving her speech on stage. Unfortunately, Yulia was “sick” (but later confirmed to be pregnant) at that point of time and couldn’t be there.

Oops, lesbian-cover blown.

Remember that edgy pair in their other hit single “All About Us” that showed tough fighting, a shoot out and both of them singing forcefully? Forget those girls now. They’ve gone soft with weak vocals in most of their tracks.

Okay, English may not be their first language but the least they could do was to put more strength into their vocals instead of concentrating on the pronunciation. Their 14-track album was nothing but one long bad dance party with brief glimmers of hope.

The Hits

Their second track, “You and I”, had slightly stronger vocals and a catchier hook than the rest of the songs. “You and I” (also known as Finding t.A.T.u) was also part of the soundtrack for the movie of the same title, starring the girls themselves as well as Mischa Barton.

The saving grace of the album was definitely the Russian song “Marsianskie Glaza (Martian Eyes)”. Maybe, because it was sung in their native tongue, the girls seemed much more at ease with this number and they could focus on their vocal quality instead of the language. It was definitely a nice break from the terrible beats of the previous songs with soothing guitar riffs. It reminded me a little of Nelly Furtado’s “All Good Things (Come To An End)”.

“Fly on the Wall” was also another great track, with a good hook minus the boring rhythm overpowering the girls voices. Without a doubt, this number proved itself to be a danceable song.

There are also 3 bonus tracks: the remixed versions of “White Robe”, “Don’t Regret” and “Running Blind”. The first 2 sounded infinitely better in Russian and the remaining track had a foot-tapping beat that would be suitable for the dance floor.

The Misses

The album got off to a bad start with “White Robe” as their first track with their monotonous vocals and boring bass beats. The lyrics make no logical sense but they make a load of lyrical sense. It would’ve made a better poem than a song.

Subsequent tracks “Sparks”, “Snowfalls” and “Little People” headed down a slippery slope to the trance/techno genre that will remind you of being in a club playing bad music. Ditto to “Running Blind”.

“Don’t Regret” was mostly forgettable and tired and almost devoid of a note-worthy chorus.

And then, out of nowhere comes “Waste Management”, which was a tad strange as most people would expect an instrumental piece to kick start the album. The record suddenly takes a tribal turn with the track “Time of the Moon”, but the instrumental was let down by the girls’ vocals and blasé tone.

The Verdict

Even if you’re t.A.T.u’s number 1 fan, I would strongly suggest you get the original Russian version of this album Vesyolye Ulybiki (translated as Happy Smiles). The girls don’t seem to be able to catch the beat of their own songs singing in English.

Title: Waste Management

Artiste: t.A.T.u

Language: Russian and English

Record Label: Coqueiro Verde Records

Release Date: Dec 15

Track list:

1. “White Robe”  – 3:14

2. “You and I”  – 3:14

3. “Sparks”  – 3:09

4. “Snowfalls” – 3:16

5.”Marsianskie Glaza”  – 3:09

6. “Little People” – 3:28

7, “Waste Management” – 2:05

8. “Running Blind” – 3:40

9.”Fly on the Wall”  – 3:57

10.”Time of the Moon” – 3:24

11.”Don’t Regret”  – 3:09

Bonus Tracks:

12. “Beliy Plaschik” (Fly Dream Remix)” – 5:32

13. “Running Blind (Transformer Remix)” – 3:53

14. “Ne Zhaley (Sniper Remix)” – 4:58