The Condemned is a movie about 10 death-row convicts who were illegally rounded up on an isolated island by a multi-millionaire TV producer, Ian Breckel who bribed corrupt prison wardens.

“Stone Cold” WWE wrestler Steven Austin stars as Jack Conrad, 1 of the 10 convicts plunged into a death-match of sorts. The inmates are told to kill each other by either brute physical force, or by pulling a red tab on the bomb attached to each man’sankle, which would set it off. The last man standing would walk away with new-found freedom and wads of cash. Hidden cameras in the island will film all the killings, which is simultaneously broadcasted to the entire world via the internet. Viewers would have to pay USD$49.99 to log on. Welcome to pay-per-view reality TV.

Not only is The Condemned a rip-off of Japanese blockbuster Battle Royale, it’s a bad one. While Battle Royale managed to keep viewers at the edge of their seats with its continual suspense and grisly horror, The Condemned also keeps viewers at the edge of their seats, but only because they can’t wait to get off them (yes, some people think that after you’ve spent $8 on a movie, you can’t well walk out, even if it’s a bad one).

The characters of the movie were also subjected to stereotypes that are almost cruel. Inmates were always angry, violent, dirty, sweaty and grimy. There is hardly a moment where the inmates quiet down like normal human beings – they were always scowling and growling almost like beasts. Conversations, if any, were unintelligible and inconsequential. You probably wouldn’t notice even if Breckel and his crew were the only ones talking. After a while, the movie just got too tiring to watch and too noisy and senseless to listen to.

There was no character development to speak of. The bad asses remained bad (and dirty and noisy) till the end. Austin, as the wrongfully-convicted Conrad, remained good and only killed because he was provoked to. After the saga was over, he even faithfully ran home to his girl.

Perhaps that was the point of the movie. The movie was probably done this way so that we wouldn’t waste emotional energy feeling for the characters, but rather, we’d focus on the bloody violence, which is what The Condemned is really all about.

Director Scott Wiper did no justice to Steve Austin by opting to film the fight scenes in a jerky manner and also constantly zooming in and out. The result? You’re barely able to catch what exactly is going on. That is a pity, because given Austin’s experience as a professional wrestler in the WWE, you’d think that he’d be able to execute a stunning performance when it comes to fight scenes, which might be the movie’s only saving grace, and Austin’s only redemption for whatever that he lacks in the acting department.

Before too long, the movie just loses all credibility and any possible shred of interest and respect and I should know, because halfway through the movie, I couldn’t help but to keep noticing how much the Japanese inmate looked like Hong Kong comedian Stephen Chow. I had to stifle quite a few guffaws when the camera cut to close-up shots of him.

So far, the movie already sounds bad enough. But wait, that’s not all. Towards the end of the movie, it takes a turn and heads for more moral grounds. It reprimanded viewers for consuming violence and gore and suggested that the viewers are the ones who should be condemned.

Having just sat through 114 minutes of non-stop violence, and with the knowledge that WWE is the producer of the movie, I felt a tad insulted by this hypocritical lecture. It is like being reprimanded by Paris Hilton for being too risqué, or by Nicole Richie for being too skinny.

This is one bloody mess of a movie that only serves to confuse its viewers.

UrbanWire condemns The Condemned to 1 out of 5 stars.

Movie Details:

Opens: July 19

Running Time: 113minutes

Cast: Steve Austin, Vinnie Jones, Rick Hoffman

Director: Scott Wiper