Hoong Wei Long would like you to know that he is not particularly charming, witty, handsome or smart. And unlike 50 cent, he actually walks with a limp. In between surfing the Internet for immoral content, having his voice crack while doing a karaoke rendition of “No Such Thing”, and catching magpies for lunch, he finds time to write for Urbanwire. If you would like to buy him tickets to a John Mayer show or help him catch magpies, email him at weilong.urbanwire@gmail.com