Nisha
My Cinderella story
Having had a fervent passion for romance novels since she was a teenager, Sally Lim, 31, a Human Resource manager, always yearned for her own happy ending. By Kristie Chiew for hype.
At 23, she met Rhrys Sng while working in the same company that Rhrys had owned.
After 2 years of courtship, he finally popped the question.
But fate wasn’t kind to them – 2 months into the engagement, Rhrys was diagnosed with liver cancer.
Although Sally had already started having doubts about their relationship due to prevalent arguments, she flew to her fiancée’s side upon receiving news of his diagnosis and stuck by him till the end.
“There were many times when he wanted to give up. I did not allow him to let go until the end, when any stronger person would also have difficulty fighting on. He fought hard,” she said.
After the last goodbye
Sally became depressed as Rhrys’ death took a toll on her. She felt as if her whole world was crashing down on her.
She had become a “dependant fiancée”, having been 8 years younger than Rhrys, and believed that a part of her had left with him when he departed.
She revealed, “I had no goals of my own. My dreams then were simply to find a good man, settle down and have kids.”
It was only when she sat herself down and thought of what she wanted with her life that she realised her life was hers to live. With the help of her friends, she learnt to open up again.
“I knew that being on my own wasn’t the way to go.
“During my mourning period, I managed to hang out with old friends,” Sally said.
However, she soon grew disillusioned.
“They clubbed and drank a lot. They generally spent most of their weekends drunk,” she recalled.
Sally felt that it wasn’t the way she wanted to live. With the encouragement of others, she took self-help courses to pull herself out of her misery.
Knight in shining armour
3 years ago, during a leadership and self-discovery programme called Asiaworks, Sally met her husband-to-be, Eric Chia, through a friend there.
Coincidentally, both of them were from the same secondary school and lived 3 minutes away.
Eric, 31, a media entrepreneur, enthused, “Its odd really, how I’d never met her before that trip to Hokkaido.”
They soon started hanging out and during a trip to Hokkaido with their friends on Dec 2006, they declared their feelings for each other.
“We were forced to share a room under unexpected circumstances,” Sally said, her eyes looking upwards in recollection.
“There are some things you can’t share without becoming better friends, and a room is one of them.”
Win my heart, O’ Sir Knight!
Almost after a year of dating, Eric proposed to Sally amid the company and laughter of friends.
That gave her a sense of déjà vu – it reminded her of Rhrys’ proposal.
Although hesitant, Sally accepted.
Now, she believed that that was perhaps the root of the later problems in their relationship – she didn’t know enough about Eric, just as he didn’t know much about her.
For a few months, Sally experienced wedding jitters when she realised that Eric was focusing a lot more on his work rather than on her.
Even Sally’s family noticed it.
“He didn’t cherish her enough. We could all see that he didn’t care,” said Pearlyn Lim, 30, Sally’s younger sister.
An enchanted time
Things were taking a downward turn for them when they finally decided to sit down and talk things over.
A knife could cut through the tension in the air, but the both of them, stubborn as mules, persisted with their attempt at conflict management.
After the conversation, Sally was ready to give up her second marriage.
She didn’t want to think about the wedding or anything else. She was forced to, however, when the photoshoot dates for the wedding inched closer.
The couple had not sorted out their issues by then, and that made matters all the more awkward.
Nonetheless, they returned for the second time to Hokkaido for their wedding shoot.
It could have been the air in Hokkaido, or the fact that they had both mulled things over, but the trip caused a very big change in Eric.
He became more attentive, sensitive and encouraging towards Sally.
“He became much more attentive, as if I was more than just a person. I was going to be his wife and he finally saw that,” Sally joyfully shared.
Now, 2 months after her fairytale wedding, Sally is a happily married woman and she’s looking forward to sharing her life with her new husband.
“It’s love at second sight for me now.”
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Losing someone close to you is not a small matter – the grief can cause other problems, such as depression, the feel of loneliness and guilt about feelings.
Confiding, whether friends, relatives or support groups, is the key to cope with the grief and loss.
You can also approach professionals for advice and support from the following welfare organisations:
National Family Service Centre (FSC): 1800-838-0100 (toll free line) or visit directory of Family & Community Services for neighbourhood FSC
Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 1800-221-4444 (24-hour toll free line)
Care Corner Mandarin Counselling Centre: 1800-353-5800 (10am to 10pm daily)
Child Bereavement Support (Singapore) – support group for bereaved parents: Visit website
For more information on coping with grief, visit BBC Health.
Additional reporting by Fatimah Mehron Nisha Bte A R.