Ronald Wan imagines what Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin, the two co-hosts for the 82nd Annual Academy Awards, would say and pip against each other

It will be a riot at the 82nd Annual Academy Awards. The two co-hosts are terrific in hosting (Alec Baldwin hosted Saturday Night Live 14 times while Steve Martin hosted the Oscars twice in 2001 and 2003) and are qualified comedians themselves. We can’t wait to hear what they have to say at the awards so we imagine up some not-so-funny quotes for our own amusement.

Steve: “Alec, I admire you. You are dashing and you have Tina Fey as your partner on 30 Rock.”
Alec: “You’re not that bad either. You have…the Pink Panther?” – Steve Martin starred in The Pink Panther and The Pink Panther 2.

Alec: “Steve, I just realised the earnings for our last 5 movies combined together can’t even buy us the craft service for Avatar.” – Both actors had rather dismal film careers recently.

Steve: “Alec, I love you and I will always answer your calls. If the producer wants to change the script, I will answer your call. If you want to do a movie together, I will answer your call. If you want to have supper at Rodeo Drive, I will do it too. Just do not leave any voicemail messages on my phone!!!” – Alec Baldwin’s infamous incident involved leaving an angry voicemail message on his daughter’s cell phone.

Steve: “Alec, we shared the same woman on set. But I do not want to share your woman in our personal lives!” – Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin were co-stars with Oscar nominee Meryl Streep in It’s Complicated. Baldwin’s ex wife is actress Kim Basinger, who’s been involved in an ugly divorce and custody battle with him.

Steve: “Alec, you know, I had better co-hosts.” – Steve Martin co-hosted with Donald Duck in Disneyland: The First 50 Magical Years shown at Disneyland.

Steve: “You know, Alec, you’re not that bad a host yourself and you are a successful TV personality. Ever considered getting your own TV talk show?”
Alec: “Seriously?”
– Alec stars in the NBC sitcom 30 Rock. NBC was recently flagged for mishandling the Jay Leno-Conan O Brien late night talk show saga.