(Images courtesy of Yahoo Movies)

No need for any plot introduction. You’ve watched most of this movie already. This tough-guy-nanny-handles-kids and kids-triumph-over-baddies storyline is so overused it’s surprising no screenwriters have been sued yet. Think The Pacifier and replace some elements with the Home Alone series, complete with a hint of Spy Kids. Then again, if muscle-bound governator Arnie and the Rock have suffered indignity at the hands of pre-teens, why not Jackie Chan?

The Spy Next Door is Chan (The Forbidden Kingdom, Shinjuku Incident) now a geek named Bob Ho. He also happens to be boyfriend of a divorcee (Amber Valetta), who has 3 cute brats (Madeline Carroll, Will Shadley, Alina Foley).

To cut a long story short, the brats don’t like Bob, yet Bob gets to babysit them, evil Russian baddies come after Bob because he turns out to be a really cool spy. Brats see Bob kick some ass and suddenly want him as their father, wedding bells chime, and wait – Bob’s real name isn’t Bob! Surprise, surprise.

The film opens with a series of clips showing Jackie Chan’s stunt performances in various previous movies like The Tuxedo. Sadly, that’s the most exciting fighting scene you’ll see here. Age must finally be catching up with the 55-year-old kungfu superstar, and this movie appears to be his desperate attempt to pave a way into the field of family entertainment to stay on in this industry.

But if you’re not looking for kick-ass action scenes, have an annoying kid you need to please, or simply have too much money, then this film is for you.

Only a young audience will accept the ridiculous clichés thrown at them in the movie. The Russian spies are bumbling, menacing-looking boneheads who will stand still and wait to get shot by the genius kids who can perfectly operate high-tech spy equipment as soon as they lay their grubby hands on them. An intelligent boy who can operate a tracking device definitely knows his way outside his neighbourhood enough to cycle to the dilapidated shack (that may be just somewhere down the street) where Jackie Chan is preparing an ambush for the baddies.

Maybe there’s something emotionally liberating for a child to watch another fellow child hate a grown-up, be spoilt and rotten, and get away with it.

So if you’re 9, you’ll like this movie. Maybe.

UrbanWire rates The Spy Next Door an almost waste of time. 2.5/5.

Photos courtesy of movies.yahoo.com

Release Details:

Opens: Jan 15
Duration: 94 min
Language: English
Rating: PG
Genre: Action/Comedy
Director: Brian Levant
Cast: Jackie Chan, Amber Valletta, George Lopez