Even without doing some serious math, we’re pretty sure that at least half of our free time has been dedicated to watching TV.

And why the heck not? People who don’t know any better call it mindless junk, but come on, we’ve learned a lot from sitting wide-eyed and slack-jawed in front of one of the best inventions ever (only just slightly behind the light bulb, really) every night of the week.

How to become a multi-gazillionaire? When is it ever appropriate to shag a colleague? We tally up the top 10 lessons imparted from the boob-tube in the past decade.

1. Finding love in a dating show is about as real as reality TV.


Chances are that you’re not going find true love by participating in a reality TV dating show. 14 seasons of The Bachelor so far, there’s only one successful match (Jason Mesnick & Molly Malaney) that hasn’t led to a tumultuous breakup.

That’s a lot of time wasted sitting in front of the TV sending best wishes to the couple, only for them to break up…and break up.

Interestingly, the girl version, The Bachelorette, has enjoyed better odds. Out of 6 seasons, three couples still remain attached. However, we maintain that you should stick to making eye contact with that hottie before trying to ask him/her out.

Much less hassle, and as far as we know,  people have already been meeting up and bumping uglies just fine before reality television came along.

2. Of coffeehouses and Left Phalanges.


Spend nearly all your free time hanging out at coffeehouses and you can never go wrong, according to America’s favourite sitcom, Friends.

Our only gripe: how come the group almost always manages to snag the best seat, when we minor humans usually have to settle for squeezing at a corner table in Starbucks?

Thanks to Phoebe Buffay and her erratic spot-on shrewdness, we now know that if you want to get your friend off her plane, insinuate that there is something wrong with its Left Phalange (pronounced “Fur-Land-Jee”) and bask in the fireworks.

Watch the video here.

3. No looks, no superhero.

It’s not enough to have awesome superpowers and fight crime and demonic villains every other day. You’ve got to be super hot as well. First, it was Buffy and the Vampire Slayer. That ended, and everyone’s attention turned to lust-worthy power-charged hotness in the form of ‘everyday people’ kicking ass.

Have you seen Phoebe Halliwell from Charmed levitating and performing spinning karate moves in a tight T-shirt sans bra? Farmboy Clark Kent in his all of his topless, chiselled glory lifting hay and saving the world in Smallville? Supernaturaleye candy in the form of gorgeous vampires getting it on in True Blood?

Sure, doomed demon-chasing comedy-drama Reaper was funny and all (while it lasted), but with goofy protagonist Sam Oliver’s lack of muscles, it never really had a chance.

4. Don’t shit where you eat.

Make sure you check the occupation of a potential one-night-stand, especially if you’re starting a new job the very next day.

Why? Because you might very well be so lucky as to end up working under the same guy you shagged last night (Ed’s note: No pun intended).

Yes, Meredith and Derek of Grey’s Anatomy ended up having a beautiful romance, on-off as it was, and eventually got married. But they had a, uh, connection, something that you can almost never attest to for most one-night-stands.

It’s called a one-night-stand for a reason.

5. Children and reality TV are never a good combination.

Just look at Jon and Kate Plus 8. Documenting the everyday lives of a suburban family with eight young kids (a pair of twins and adorable sextuplets) as they amusingly juggle each day with boo-boo incidents and child-friendly activities like something straight out of The Brady Bunch.

Then it all went awry with a very public divorce. The children need therapy and can’t wait to move out, daddy Jon Gosselin is broke and hooking up with his third girlfriend, while mommy Kate Gosselin explored a dancing career in Dancing with the Stars and… crashed and burned.

6. Bring on the political jokes.

If you want to reach near-cult status as a serious comedian, spoof a controversial vice-presidential candidate everyone hates and watch your earnings and fame go through the roof.

Who can forget Tina Fey’s Emmy-winning portrayal of Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live back in 2008? Now, the 40-year-old is a comedic legend and slated to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2011.

7. Don’t throw away those old Hannah Montana CDs.


It’s probably too late for you, so impart this nugget of wisdom to your future children: Make sure your kid goes for singing lessons and learn the art of being an attention-grabbing (albeit annoying), trend-setting teenager. Then move to America.

Thanks to her Hannah Montana fame, 18-year-old teen sensation Miley Cyrus has already amassed a US$100 million (S$131,537,000) fortune and owns two huge properties, including a deluxe Miami apartment with a waterfront view.

And now there’s also Glee, whereby stars like Lea Michele and Cory Monteith are fast gaining recognition. You can never go wrong with young, perky, and good-looking teenage singers.

8. Nerds of the world unite!


Geeky, when done right can be the new cool, as exemplified in recent years.

Just look at America Ferrara. Is it just us, or did she look better as endearingly uncool personal assistant Betty Suarez in Ugly Betty? And admit it, wasn’t space-time manipulator and comic-book maniac Hiro Nakamura one of your favourite characters in Heroes?

Geeky was the new indie this decade, and nothing makes you cooler than being indie, after all, being non-mainstream is cool (God, these labels are hard).

Get your heads around this – it’s cool to be uncool, so feel free to embrace your knowledge of comic books and videogames.

9. Make sure that your fiancé isn’t an absolute nutcase…


And in love with his half-sister before you agree to marry him on some remote island.

Poor Trish, all resplendent in her wedding gown, never knew what was coming when Henry gutted her and left her for dead. The severely under-acknowledged Harper’s Island was one of the best shows in a long time, especially as it was modeled after late writer Agatha Christie’s 1939 cult novel And Then There Were None.

At the end, when protagonist Abby fatally stabs half-brother Henry, he declares with his dying breath (while smiling contentedly) that he loves her. Extremely chilling and perverse, but how many of you fell in love with him at that moment? We sure did.

10. There’s a reason why we find the Naked Chef so appealing, and it’s certainly not because of his body.


Jamie Oliver, Nigella Lawson, Rachael Ray, Anthony Bourdain.

These are just a few of the many celebrity chefs who have become icons in their own right in this decade thanks to their cooking shows. Oliver is a household name in England, and is worth an estimated 65 million pounds (S$133,719 000).

Thanks to her self-titled cooking and lifestyle programme which attracts millions of viewers per episode, Rachael Ray has scored numerous endorsement deals, including a US$18 million (S$23,682,000)-a-year partnership with Dunkin’ Doughnuts.

Not only will cooking feed you but it’ll also ensure that you enjoy your meals with gold-plated cutlery.